If Epic Meal Time's gluttonous concoctions don't give you a heart attack, host Harley Morenstein's fake retirement announcement might.
Epic Meal Time trolled its 6.8 million followers Tuesday with a video dubbed "The Last Episode." Thankfully, Morenstein and company have no desire to slow down. In fact, to commemorate their fifth anniversary, they debuted a 84,479 calorie "BACON CHEESEBURGER PIZZA POCKET LASAGNA IN A PIG" topped with a Cristal butter glaze. If that doesn't have your arteries clogged immediately upon reading, we've got four more examples of their most calorically huge meals from the past five years to celebrate with them.
5) The Last Episode
The most recent entry to Epic Meal Time's greatest hits involves cooking a bacon cheeseburger pizza pocket lasagna inside a pig for maximum shock. There's also a side adventure of making "money pizza" where they roll out dough with a Cristal bottle, put "yesterday's Ad Sense money" on it ($10,000), and then drink the Cristal.
4) Meat Garden
This video's title is so incongruous that you have to watch how they turn meat into a garden, with the help of Christmas lights and tequila-laced ribs. This one's all about presentation, with flank steak cabbages and bacon roses.
3) Fast Food Meatloaf Lasagna
Calories: 136, 226
The meatloaf in this recipe is homemade, but embedded ("like war correspondents," Morenstein jokes) inside the layers are full fast food burgers. Top them off with cheese and onion rings for a crispy layer, and add some bacon for layer separation. This video also included a shout out for supporting marriage equality, so who's to say Epic Meal Time isn't political as well.
2) The Sloppy Roethlisberger
For a Super Bowl special, the gang put together a Jack Daniels BBQ-infused burger that weighs 50 pounds. That includes 10 pounds of buns.
1) TurBaconEpic Thanksgiving
While not the highest caloric example on their channel, one of their most watched videos taps into the desire to take Thanksgiving to the extreme. Turducken, the combo of a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey, get the epic treatment here, with add ons like quail, meat "glue," bacon stuffing, bacon strips, and finished it off by stuffing the modified Turducken inside a pig. If you're looking to make a holiday impression, this concoction is the granddaddy of them all.